I’ve been writing a lot recently. That’s no bad thing. My post about being a survivor has had more views in a week than the rest of my blog has had in ages. I’ve written a few other things but now I’m too exhausted to write anything thorough. Partly that’s CFS induced and partially that’s because I’ve been dealing with some pretty vile trolling by MRAs. I know it was MRAs behind the trolling because the article started to get comments like this once it had been shared on the Men’s Right forum on Reddit, or so my blogger dashboard tells me. I’d like to say it doesn’t bother me. It does.
TW: rape apologism for the pictures with this article
The sudden unexpected waves of exhaustion is incredibly debilitating. Everything I am supposed to be doing is now put back by days, and someone with my responsibilities can’t afford that. I have just got in from work at time of writing (7pm yesterday). I finish at half past four. I’m back so late because I spent over an hour slumped on my office chair physical incapable of standing up, and then when I cycled home I stopped after five minutes thanks to intense joint pain and walked. Even then I had to stop every hundred yards or so because of the pain and the feeling I was about to keel over. My house is 20 minutes walk from work at a slow pace. It took me fifty minutes to get home. I doubt I’ll have the energy to cook myself dinner or get up off the bed, and no, I can’t sleep, because while my body feels leaden my mind is going at a hundred miles an hour, fuelled on anxiety based on all the things I am supposed to be doing and which I am already late on. My inbox is full, I have a play to edit, a bathroom to clean, pets to feed, a policy document to write, three separate comedy nights to coordinate and I really should go to the gym. All of that needed to be done yesterday.
Whoop de fucking do dah.
On a more positive note, in case I don’t write anything interesting, here’s a blog for you to read in the meantime by a friend of mine currently in Israel/Palestine. Only one post so far but it’s clear and thoughtful. Enjoy and do follow his blog – it looks promising.